A young woman who identified herself as Jane alias Bobo on Citizen Television’s 10 Over 10 Show on Friday, October 13 left presenter Joey Muthengi, the show’s studio audience and viewers shocked, when she confessed to being “unapologetically satisfied” with being in an abusive relationship.
Jane, who went ahead to identify her boyfriend as Kim, said she has been in an abusive relationship for five years now, and does not intend to walk out on her partner, whatsoever, – because she is “okay with being beaten up”.
The topic of discussion on 10 Over 10 Friday, was toxic – or unhealthy – relationships among the youth, and why victims of abusive relationships are often finding it hard to ditch their violent partners.
It is then that Jane, who was introduced to the host by a panelist, Bianca Lenis, got hold of the microphone and made the revelation, which left sections of the audience scratching their heads.
“Our relationship is beyond drama. I think we should record what goes on in it and release it as a movie,” said Jane, before divulging further details.
“My boyfriend does not want me to go to a nightclub, and when I go for practice (sic), he inquires who I am with. No relationship is immune to drama. We fight – physically. How I wish I could show you a picture of myself after fighting with my boyfriend. He usually beats me up, thoroughly! I am okay with it. Now that is what I call love. (Crowd shouts in disapproval).”
The show host, Joey Muthengi, chimes in: “I have a problem with that. The first time you were a victim of violence in the relationship; did you not think there was something wrong with that?”
Jane promptly responded: “Before your lover beats you up, you must question what you did. The first time he clobbered me, I was drunk, and I talked rudely to him. I admit. He too was drunk, he punched me.”
A now shocked Joey Muthengi interjects: “You let the man beat you up?”
Jane replies: “Yeah, I did! Once you have decided it is him whom you love, you’d be okay with anything that happens in the relationship, including being beaten up. Though, if you are a person who is not committed to loving your spouse, you’d be quick to leave him if he beats you up.” (Crowd shouts in disapproval, this time more loudly).”
Despite the crowd putting their oar in the issue – loudly and clearly – Jane’s conviction could not be changed.
“For me, I love him the way he is, even if he beats me up. I am okay with the relationship. I don’t wish to have any other man,” she said, with a now withdrawn crowd interrupting minimally.
One of the panelists, Farouq Stero, who is an actor on Citizen TV local drama, Tahidi High, disagreed with Jane’s statement, and said: “That is a hostage situation. I don’t think love is something that should cause harm on your body. Uncertainty about finding new love, makes you trapped in an abusive relationship,” he said, and went ahead to urge Jane’s boyfriend to refrain from beating her up. “Kim, where you are, you have a pretty woman; she is an amazing dancer, but fighting her, is a big no!”
Jane’s confession on live TV triggered myriad reactions online, with many disagreeing with what she said – that violence in relationships is a sign of love.
Relationship experts advise people to walk out on abusive partners the moment they (partners) depict signs of violence.