American entertainer R. Kelly has opened up about being sexually abused when he was a child.
Until he mentioned it in his 2012 memoir, Soulacoaster, he had never told anyone at all about the sexual abuse that he experienced – not even his mother or his ex-wife Andrea.
In the book, he describes a number of premature sexual experiences, including an approach by a trusted family friend, a man, who he says tried to persuade Kelly to masturbate him for money- an offer that Kelly says he rejected.
The singer told GQ magazine: “It was a crazy weird experience. But not a full-blown experience, because it didn’t go down. Contact sexual—no. A visual—absolutely. A visual from him showing me his manhood and all that stuff.”
But he describes in his memoir how the full-on sexual abuse that lasted for several years – it was oral the first time, though he says it soon became intercourse.
It started one day when Kelly fell asleep in front of the TV and was awoken from “a crazy dream about Three’s Company” to find a woman playing with him.
“I remember it feeling weird. I remember feeling ashamed. I remember closing my eyes or keeping my hands over my eyes. I remember those things, but couldn’t judge it one way or the other fully,” he explained, reflecting on the abuse he says occurred consistently for the better part of a decade, beginning when he was a child.
“It became a regular thing. Every other day, every other week,” he went on, saying that it went back “as far as I can remember.”
GQ’s Heath asked Kelly when the abuse came to a stop.
“When I started having a girlfriend, I felt really bad about it. Then I started getting older and knowing that’s just not supposed to happen — family members. And I think it started getting scary for them because I just started acting really different about it, and I think it became a turnoff to them, and a scary thing.”
But the musician also says that his abuser remained in his life, and is a blood relative; eight or nine years ago, he tried to broach the subject with this person.
“Didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t own up to it. Told me, ‘Sometime when you’re kids, you think you’ve been through something, or did something, that you didn’t do, probably was a dream.’ Things like that. But it was definitely not a dream.”
Why he sleeps in a closet
The talented pop singer confessed that despite having a lavish residence, he sleeps inside a closet ‘most of the times’.
His reason for it: “It’s just peace of mind. First of all, it’s a pretty big closet. There’s a few reasons. The way the sunlight comes through the window, when I wake I don’t like it. I like pitch-black, because I sleep well when it’s just pitch-black. I leave my phones outside of the closet, and once I get in that closet I feel like no one in the world has any idea that I am in this closet right now.”
This bizarre habit only started when R. Kelly ascended to fame.
“And that gives me a peace of mind, to know that no one knows where I’m at right now. ‘I bet you they can’t find me here.’ So it’s that kind of thought. I started doing that after I got rich and famous.” he says.
And yet another reason: “I feel so secure. I’ve got the front door locked, I got the back door locked, I got the room door locked, and I got the closet door locked. I’m in a door in a door in a door in a door, so I feel protected. Just like the way they put money in a thick vault. So, call me money at that point.”
Kelly adds that he sleeps alone in the closet, and that not even his wife was allowed in the cabinet.
On his relationship with Aaliyah…
While he wouldn’t admit that he married the rising star Aaliyah when she was a minor, Kelly told Heath that he was in love with her.
“Uh, I would describe it as best friends. Deep friends. As far as we both loved music and wanted to be successful. She’s a Capricorn, I’m a Capricorn, my momma a Capricorn, her daddy’s a Capricorn, you know. It was just so much in common with each other,” he explained, adding that he thinks the young star was in love with him as well.
As for whether or not he thought he did anything wrong in their relationship? “Absolutely not. Absolutely not. That’s my answer forever: Absolutely not,” he said.
The Ignition singer has in the past been accused of defiling minors, an accusation that he claims is utterly false. He has, however, paid off several families who have accused him of having sex with their underage daughters.