In his 2009 bestseller Act Like A Lady Think, Like A Man, TV personality Steve Harvey advised women to ‘keep the cookie jar shut’ for the first 90 days of a new relationship.
Arguing that going to bed with a man too early in a relationship would help weed out men who were only after a hook up, Harvey uses a “new on the job” analogy to advance his position.
“…if Ford and the government won’t give a man benefits until he’s been on the job and proven himself, why, ladies, are you passing out benefits to men before they’ve proven themselves worthy? If you’re giving your benefits to a guy who’s only been on the job for a week or two, you’re making a grave mistake,” he wrote.
Aside from weeding out the “hit and run” bunch, Harvey states that withholding the cookie makes a man respect a woman.
“(The 90-Day rule) signals to a man that you are not a plaything – someone to be used and discarded. It tells him that what you have – your benefits – are special, and that you need time to get to know him and his ways to decide if he deserves them,” he writes.
In giving women this ‘ammunition’, Harvey has been branded a traitor by #TeamMafisi.
To even the scales, Men have now announced their own 90-day rule: No spending money on a woman for the first 90 days of a relationship.
Arguing that they are tired of being used for their money, this disgruntled group of men have now said they will keep their wallets shut for the first three months.
“Two can play at that game! If she wants to withhold benefits, we can also withhold our money! These women want you to go all out, taking them to expensive restaurants and then slap us with a 90-day ban? No way,” said Mark Kamau, a Nairobi based man.
One twitter user agreed with Mark, saying that these days it is difficult to trust women.
— Isaac Collinz Ug (@IsaacCollinzUg) May 16, 2016
Proponents of this rule say that people should go dutch on bills for the first three months, with everybody paying for what they eat or spend on dates.
During Hot 96’s breakfast show, #THEHOTBREAKFAST, some women argued that men who support this rule are probably multiple daters looking to cut down their date budget.
— katalina chebunga (@KChebunga) May 16, 2016
Other women argued that refusing to pay for dates just because a woman has withheld the cookie is reducing a relationship to a financial transaction.
What is your take? Men would you adopt this twist on Harvey’s rule? Ladies, would you be okay with paying your bills for the first three months?
Let us know in the comments section below.
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