Men’s Den: Ladies, we love you more when you do these 7 things


Relationships are becoming trickier and harder to cruise in by the day. Women say they don’t understand men – and men complain of how complicated human beings women are.

There is also a notion quickly gaining credibility that relationships fall apart in modern day because of lack of enough money in the unions. That could be true – to some extent; true for a certain population.

However, what, I believe, is the quickest way to guide a relationship to its nadir is by doing what your partner doesn’t want you to do, or not doing what they wish you would do.

I will speak for men.  I know there are as many as a million things husbands or boyfriends would want their ladies to do to make their love feel, sound as fresh as today morning.

Per me, the following seven things, done by women, fuel men’s love.


Ensure that when you visit your boyfriend, his house is not dirtier than how you found it, neither is it moderately disorganised as you found it. Sweep that floor, mop it; clean the utensils and wash his clothes; arrange his wardrobe and place the cushions nicely in the chair. I am not asking you to play wife, but just advising you that clean women have a way of winning men’s hearts. This reminds me of an October 2018 news item, which said a barmaid from Murang’a was the subject of hate from local women after her cleanliness made the women’s husbands camp at the barmaid’s house, leaving the “not-so-clean” women husbandless.

Maintaining hygiene

Please, please, there is nothing feminine about having that strong kijasho driving us to push our noses out of the window in a bid to catch fresh air. We love it when you smell some lavender or rose flowers. You do not have to break the bank. My girlfriend informed me – adequately – that you can refill a high-end bottle of perfume for Ksh200 in Nairobi. Please, Njoki, Achieng’or Moraa, spare some 200 bob for perfume. Another big issue: wash Miss Sunshine down there. Nothing puts a man off like a smelly cookie jar. It leaves us confused, disheartened, embarrassed and ‘fatigued’. Take it from me: no man wants to put his third leg inside a “not-so-appealing” queen-dom. Actually, the first thing that often comes to our mind is: “Could this lady be housing a life-threatening STI?” Kindly, no smelly legs, mouth or anywhere within and without your body. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You better behave as such.

Giving us space

I like going for a drive with the boys. I like watching soccer with the boys. I like spending time reading magazines. I need an all-man laughter with the boys. I am not saying I will neglect and throw my time with you out of the window, no. I just need that small space. To miss you. To want you. To crave for you. I need it.

Settling the bills, once in a while

You work, are quite financially stable? I shouldn’t – all the time – play the father role in your life. Once in a while, pay for that drink we had. Once in a while, settle the taxi fare. Once in a while, send the extra airtime. Once in a while, buy food in the house.

Surprising us with gifts, occasionally

Once in a while buy me that wrist watch I had said I wished I would get, but I did not have money at the time. Men appreciate surprises too.

Offering advice

You are bright, yes. Help me solve a tough life decision – like whether to start business A or plunge all my resources into business B. I do not want to fail when I have you. Behind my success, there is you. You better behave like you were there when I was pursuing success.

Wearing what we like seeing you in

I like dresses. They turn me on. They make me feel like jumping on you like a tiger and devouring everything juicy out of you. Another man prefers skirts, and another would love to see you in a tight pair of pants. We are different on these. Know what your man likes, and display it to him to the fullest. He won’t feel the desire to know what is beneath the tight skirt of another woman.

Ladies, do these and thank me later.

Happy New Year!



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