Popular Papa Shirandula actress Joy Karambu – better known by her stage name as Kawira – has some nuggets of wisdom to share with married women.
Her priceless counsel comes in the form of what married women shouldn’t let their house helps do.
“A wife should not let the house help do everything in the house – when she gives her that liberty and array of responsibility, the house girl becomes the wife,” she told eDaily.
“When the wife says she is a career woman – and uses that as an alibi to be away from home, the man will find comfort in the house help.”
“That explains why husbands fall in love with nannies. When you are too busy for your man; to an extent you don’t have the time to check if his clothes are clean – and you let the house help do it; including cleaning and arranging the matrimonial room, then you’ve officially relinquished all the wifely duties to the maid. For instance, my bedroom is out of bounds for the house help,” Kawira advised.
“If possible, the wife should be the one to wash the man’s innerwear – not the house help.”
Kawira, who is married to gospel singer Ephantus Wahome, says when she was new in marriage, it was quite difficult to adjust to the expectations of being a wife as she was used to her freedom; which was in abundance when she was single.
“It (early phase of marriage) was hard! I have not been raised by a man and with boys around. So, I was wondering why my husband was telling me what to do; why we should go to church together; why I couldn’t go to my mum’s place the way I wanted; why I couldn’t hook up with my friends the way I used to; basically why were things changing? At my parents’ house, I wasn’t cooking since I was the last born – so I was thrown into a world where I had to cook every day.”
“He (Mr Wahome) had issues with that; but I learnt to submit.”
“Submission doesn’t hurt at all; if a woman does so, the husband often fulfills everything she asks for. Do you know why the Bible says a woman should submit and a man should love? It’s because a man often doesn’t know how to love and a woman doesn’t know how to submit – submission proves quite hard to women because it makes them (women) appear inferior and suppressed – that is not the case.”
Kawira has further nuggets of wisdom in form of three key pillars that keeps marriage intact.
“Communication is foremost – even if a confession is on the worst of imaginations, make it. Number two is trust: if you don’t trust a man, don’t be too quick to tell him or show it – when he learns of your insecurities, he certainly will do the mischief you suspected him of; that’s what I have learnt. And always maintain a consistent light tone when disagreeing with your man.
“Number three is submission: as a woman, always submit! Put away all that career-woman mentality once you enter the house. Submission entails a lot; even if you have hired a house help; she can do the cooking, and you personally serve your husband.”