Gospel singer Janet Otieno says women, especially wives, commit diligently to their husbands to an extent of prioritizing the men’s needs to theirs – and that the best reward men can give to such devoted women is unconditional, endless love.
Speaking exclusively to eDaily, Janet Otieno said men often get too comfortable with the women they are married to to an extent of overlooking the little good things that women do for them.
“Sometimes husbands get a lot of money and they fail to take good care of their wives. Instead, they shower other women with gifts and money. This thing that men really need to know: I am going to talk on behalf of women right now. We (wives) wake up in the morning and you see me putting on stockings on my hair, just to go make you breakfast, to iron your suit, polish your shoes; and I just want to see you looking good and so handsome when you leave the house. And you go to the office and meet this lady who has her make up on, she looks so exquisite on her high heels, and her long nails well manicured. She looks so beautiful to you, and you start comparing her to your wife back at home.
“Remember your wife woke up early, looking quite unattractive just to make you look good. And when you meet the other woman who probably left her husband at home complaining about how uncaring his wife is, and you tend to think she is the best for you; you forget your wife at home…
“Let me tell you, the one whom you left at home – looking way below striking – is the best! Only that men often do not know. If only they could stick by the one at home… The only thing that we ladies need from men is the love. I submit to you and you show me the love; and everything will be fine.”
Janet Otieno has been married for two decades now. By virtue of familiarity, she qualifies to offer advice on what makes a union stand strong for such a long time.
“Marriage is beautiful. I know there are challenges in marriages. When you are getting into marriage, you don’t look forward to a divorce. With the experience that I have, marriage has been good to me. I thank God because I haven’t gone through a lot of difficulties.
“I have been married for the last 20 years. The top ingredient of a successful marriage is God. He must be involved in it. Where there is God, there is always a solution. I won’t say we have not had our differences. We have them. However, the way we solve them matters a lot.
“Second, communication is key in marriage. For us to be quarreling about some things that I did or I did not do means there was no good communication. If your communication can be open, then your union is safe. I may want you to buy me a KSh20, 000 dress that I saw somewhere. And in your pocket you have only KSh2, 000. And because I don’t know what you have in your pocket, I will persist to own the KSh20, 000 dress. You will be looking at me like: ‘Is she for real?’ Bottom-line: men should communicate their financial stretch, challenges and abilities openly.
“My husband expects a lot from me on some areas because he does not know what I have. If I will be free with him to let him know what I have in the areas that he wants, then he will be satisfied.
“If we have a difference in the morning when my husband is going to work, I will just let him go and finish his work. And when he comes back in the evening, I will prepare the food for him…though at that time I feel like bursting. But still, I would give him the dinner. After he has eaten, I would ask to meet him in the bedroom – away from the children and everybody. We would sit and talk. I would let him talk. I would talk too. At the end of the conversation, we would have a solution to everything – and start afresh like nothing happened.”
Janet Otieno also shared some wisdom to women about submission.
“Submission for women is key to a successful marriage. It is Biblical. You have to submit to your husband, you have to respect him, and you have to do everything that makes him feel appreciated.”
Janet Otieno is a mother of three: “My first girl is in university, the second girl is in Form Two and my young boy is in Standard Four.”