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PREGNANT WOMAN PHOTO/COURTESY

I will have a baby when I want

Lately, there has been undue pressure on me to have a baby because ‘I am of age.’ According to society, I am a fertile young woman who should have had at least two children by now.

Society is a bit of a pain, isn’t it? In formative years, girls are taught that they should have babies when they are married and have the financial ability to care for a little human being.

Yet, as soon as you hit the age of 25, the same society starts to ask you personal questions.

Are you seeing someone? When are you getting married? When are you having a baby?

Woe unto you if you are past 25 and are in no steady relationship, are too busy chasing your career and living an ‘irresponsible’ life? The social order will tear into you like a rabid dog.

We are raised to think that we have choices, yet in that moment of judgment from outside voices, we feel like failures in what we are now told is the natural order of things.

Here is what I know; I am not a thoroughbred horse. Doctors, family, friends, neighbours and strangers may all have their opinion as to what a woman my age should be doing with her life right now, but at the end of the day, it is her life.

We all know the risks of not having a baby at the ‘right’ time. I know about the risks because ‘women health doctors’ have been going on about it for decades before I was born. I do not need to be reminded of the risks. I do not need any more pressure or being shamed into hurrying up.

If women wanted to have children earlier, and could, they would do so, but that isn’t always possible.

They may not be able to afford it or may not have found a suitable partner, and may not want to have a child alone.

Some simply do not want children and there is nothing wrong with that.

If it is your choice to have a house of ten children to carry on your family name, then so be it, just leave me out of your plans.

I will have a baby when I am ready, because I want to be a good mother and provide my unborn child with the best of what the world has to offer.

Most of all, I want my baby to experience what I can’t give them right now; lots of time, attention and love.

I want my child to know they were very much wanted and were never an accessory to appease culture.

 

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