There has been a not-so-interesting debate that was sparked off by Khaligraph Jones’ sojourn in the land of Jolof rice.
A few days after landing in Nigeria, where he lost out on an Award to the not-so-deserving South African rambler AKA, Papa Jones decided to use up the little amount of time he has left in Lagos to whip up an online debate that has now spilled over into the entire Kenyan internet.
He may have been bored. But now, here we are.
Jones, aided by his nemesis Nyashinski, both went in on Kenyan music DJs and radio presenters and accused them, foolishly, of being too biased on Nigerian music and playing too little, or no, Kenyan music.
Now, this is a sick sick joke that I have heard way too many times. And a sick, silly rant I had hoped we wouldn’t idiotically drag into such a fresh and new year. But this is Kenya and foolery persists.
It’s ridiculous that, in 2019, a Kenyan artist of the level of Nyashinski could be lamenting of radio airplay. Or TV rotation.
Nyash went even lower by decrying that a certain Kenyan Governor was not allowed to mention his ‘favorite Kenyan artist ‘. Hahaha.
Oh yeah? Now, we are so thin-skinned, we are so bereft of ideas, we are so insecure, so clueless that we have to be mentioned as someone’s favorite artists? So what if I am Governor so-and-so’s favorite artist? So what? I magically appear at the BET tomorrow? I suddenly see an email from Ed Sheeran in my mailbox this evening?
So what if Governor So-and-So likes me? So what? I all-of-a-sudden perform at the Global Citizen’s Festival? I am now in the studio with David Guetta by February? Pure rubbish!
YOU. DO. NOT. HAVE. TO .BE. ANYONE’S. FAVORITE.
This is a music industry. Not a teenage girls’ high school beauty contest.
I also saw Joe Muchiri jump into the fray and threw a lot of weight behind the idle rants perpetuated by Mr Khaligraph Jones.
In 2019, Or even 2018 for that matter, you DO NOT need no DJ and no radio station obsession over you. We have Youtube, Spotify, Apple Music, Itunes, Google Play Music, Soundcloud, Deezer, Jango, you name it!
Why, in 2019, is anyone worried whether their song will play at around 3pm in the afternoon on Kiss FM? Bro, we don’t even listen to most of these stations whose presenters ya’ll are crucifying!
Why, in 2019, would some artist sit in a corner sobbing and hoping that their song will play on The Beat? Dude, we now listen to music online, we can stream albums online, we now subscribe to YouTube channels, we now catch all the madness on DSTV, which is a global platform.
Why, in 2019, should some singer hang around their little crackled radio hoping to catch their mumbling song come up on Homeboyz Radio?
In this age and era, we barely even need these radio jockeys. We barely even have time to catch these TV music shows. We probably already saw it all last week. Online. Oh God!
And with the kind of music this country continues to churn out, with the likes of The Kansoul dominating the charts, do we really have time? Really?
We decided to give massive radio and TV airplay to the likes of Bahati and Willy Paul. Look what happened.
Mr Papa Jones, the more we gas you and play your stuff, the more we praise our local acts and make them a big deal, the trashier they become, the worse they become, the crappier they become.
I mean, look at Timmy Tdat!
YOU will NOT decide for Kenyans who to adore and who not to. You will not sit in your little studio, whip up your little phone and go on your grainy Instagram to lecture the nation on why we should love you and why we should shelve our Naija music.
YOU will not do the business of radio and TV. We will NOT allow you to turn into a radio and TV expert overnight. You are a rambling rapper. With bad music videos. Terrible rhyme schemes and shoddy rap flow. Stick to your job, Mr Kenyan artist.
We will dance to whom we want, play whom we want and idolize whom we want.
We will do all the Shaku Shakus we want. And jam to the last Wasafi Records jam. And YOU will DO NOTHING about it.
Wait… There’s something you can do though, quit the rants, make better music, create better online fanbases, take more advantage of online music spaces, have better budgets for music videos, hire better video vixens or shut the goddam hell up!
DJ… Play Jibebe please!
PS: Oh, and Nyashinski, don’t feel too sweet. We might just send you back to the desert you crawled out of in North Carolina. And you may swim in the sand longer than you did the last time!