11 people who should absolutely be banned from public transport

Taking public transport is a crazy affair

Because God’s timing is the best, some of us do not have private cars yet and have to rely on public transportation for the most time.

There are also some of us who have the said cars but for one reason or the other, prefer to leave them home and join the rest on public transport.

Yet, a few things bring us together on those buses and matatus we take to work, and one of these things is the hatred for people whose behaviours are rather untoward for the public and more so, public transport.

To list the misdemeanors that we are unlucky enough to witness on public transport would probably take a novel and then another, but here are the most common pet peeves on public transport.:

Peeping Tom

Don’t you just hate seatmates who blatantly stare at your phone as you go about your chatting/surfing? What happened to their own phones?

Why are they reading your messages with you? Creepy!

The seat hog

These people who feel they need to sit in their seats and the next, and unapologetically watch you spend the rest of your journey hanging precariously on the edge of a seat you paid for, should be first to answer for their sins on judgment day. The same fate awaits people who place their bags on the seats next to them.

The drunk

Sitting next to a drunk person on any day is bad enough, if you are unlucky to sit next to one on public transport it is catastrophic. They not only stink, but they love to babble and never seem to realize that their rancid breath is right in your face. And speaking of babbling, don’t you just loathe people who…

Start forceful conversations?

After a long day and busy schedules sometimes all the peace one can get is that quiet ride home, yet your seatmate is having none of this.

She talks interminably; she starts with the weather, then she gets into politics, then shoes and what not.

You even pretend to fall asleep but they will shake you right awake if a new idea occurs to them.

I am all for socializing and I perfectly understand that it is good for the soul and body – but please, let people be when they do not want to talk.

Sleeping beauty?

Ironically there is nothing beautiful about some stranger on the bus falling asleep next to you, leaning on your shoulder, snoring and even leaving drool on your clothes.

The experience is harrowing! Where were these people when the rest of the world was sleeping, that they see it best to pursue their sleep right next to you?!

Talking loudly on phone

Oh, these are a global pet peeve. These people seem to be under the impression that the details of their lives are, so juicy everyone needs to be brought aboard. They talk on the phone as if they are addressing the nation.

The truth is, we do not care if the plumber fixed the sink, we do not care if Omosh brought back the power bank and we also do not care, good Lord, if she is making you githeri with chicken for supper. Spare us the details; we are not interested.

Chatting loudly

Rule number 1, never seat next to teenage girls or girls in their twenties who seem to know each other, unless, of course, you want to spend the rest of your journey listening to how Brayo is ‘acting I don’t know how, because yesterday he ‘did I don’t know what’.

People, especially ladies because you are famous for this, if Brayo went to space today and got stuck there we would not notice, let alone care.

PDA

Hmm, where do I even start with this…you see, finding someone you love and who loves you back in these trying times is a beautiful thing. Celebrate it. Make merry. Be happy, I mean, you deserve it. You have something most people just dream of.

However, remember to not to grope one another and swap saliva on public transport you shameless people! It is public transport for crying loud.

Having the time of your life? Good for you! Now can’t your love just wait a few minutes to get off the bus and get a room? What’s wrong with some people!

Listening to loud music

You have a bomb playlist? Well done; the rest of us have them too. That is why we listen to our music through earphones.

Lots of perfume

Some people just wake up in the morning with the sole intention of suffocating everybody aboard the bus with their perfume.

They douse their clothes with bottlefuls of cheap cologne and try to kill everybody aboard with the offending scent. This is a crime against humanity.

Eating on the bus

If you are going to eat anything when using public transport

1). Do not chew loudly

2). For the sake of the sanity of others, do not eat smelly food.

There are people who eat crisps in the bus and it sounds like thunderclaps that reverberate  through the bus and cause us ear cramps. That behaviour is unbecoming. Stop it. Immediately.

So there, the next time you are using public transportation try to give the others peace, aye?

 

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